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It doesn't matter whether I find the right words to say or not, as this photo just speaks straight from the heart. Without a doubt, Kayleigh spent 30 minutes on Aimee before she made her way to me and my nose. What a blessing this was and how it made our weekend so beautiful. "We love you sweet Kayleigh and we miss you SO very much!" God Bless,

Everybody is looking for that something. One thing that makes it all complete. You find in the strangest places, places you never knew it could be. Some find it in the face of their children. Some find it in their lovers eyes. Who can't deny the joy it brings, when you find that special thing. Your flying without wings. I couldn't find the right words to start off tonight's post until I listened to a favorite song I have not heard in years. I have really been at a loss of words lately and it breaks my heart because I so badly want to say something positive, something emotional and something that just touches your heart beyond belief. And well, thanks to that song...I did. I realized that Kayleigh's love makes me fly without wings. I am saddened at times to wrap my arms around my chest, missing her warm body, her chubby arms and her stinky farts. I just know that she is up in Heaven, sharing her love with so many up there and it makes me feel so great to know that this ...

I spent the morning thinking and ever since Kayleigh was born, I never thought that I would be spending Kayleigh's 1st birthday without Kayleigh. I wanted to see her smear pink cake all over her face while we all laughed hysterically. I wanted her to rip bows off presents, just to have them stuck all over her head. I wanted to help her blow out that single standing candle and take endless photos to share with the world. Well, we did! Even though Kayleigh wasn't physically here, she was here with us in spirit as we celebrated her first birthday. We bought balloons, our wedding cake maker made us a beautiful pink and brown cake and Debbie from New Zealand, a good blog friend had some delicious butterfly cupcakes delivered to our house this morning. We wrote a big card/letter to her on a dry erase board and we cooked a delicious dinner on the grill. We planted several flowers in our yard that were from Kayleigh's memorial and we enjoyed a wonderful day thinking of our sweet an...

Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there and thank you all so much to those who wished me a Happy Father's Day too :) I apologize for not keep up with the blog and keeping you informed with how things are going. Everytime I sit down to write something, I am at a loss of words. I know this sounds crazy, but I have typers block and just can't think of what to talk about. I guess when you have so much to talk about with Kayleigh, you run out of things to say when there isn't much going on with us. That leads me to something I would like to continue and that is not "Thoughtful Thursdays" but "Thankful Thursday" to talk about those in our lives who we are so thankful for. I have a lot of people in my life who have lead the path to direct my growth as a person and I think it would be an honor to acknowledge those people to the world. I know today is Father's day Sunday and it doesn't look or sound anything like Thursday, but how can I pass...

At Kayleigh's memorial, I painted a picture with words of how she was in Heaven, sitting on our Lords lap while captivated by a butterfly which was flying in front of her face. The image of this butterfly has brought a blessing to our family. Since we have moved, we have seen more butterflies around our house and wherever we go than we have ever seen in our lifetime. It's Kayleigh. It's her constant reminder that she is here with us. It sends warm smiles through both of our faces. There are so many great ideas sent our way and we are more than excited to sit down and think of what we want to do. One of the ideas had certainly sparked an interest and we are ironing out the details to see if this is something we can possibly do. Before we break the news to everyone of what we are going to do, we want to make sure it is definitely doable first. On the other hand, many of you mentioned that I should write a book. I have been working on a book for several months now and before m...

Does anyone know how much fun it is to move? If you could actually see my face, you would see that I was beyond sarcastic when I said that. We have practically moved everything except a couple odds and ends, which we will pick up over the next couple weeks while we travel across town to take Ally and Bran to school. Thank goodness school is only for a couple more weeks. That is a hike back and forth. A few of us guys took two full days to load and unload the 26 footer Uhaul while Aimee packed a sea of un-ending boxes. You never know how much crap you have until you move. Ya know? It is crazy the amount of junk we tossed, let alone the amount that we still held on to. Thankfully, the rain came light which cooled the air a bit. We only soaked through a couple shirts. Yummy! Brandon and Allyson seem to love the new place. We took advantage of the horrible market as the market took advantage of us. We found a nice rental home, well outside the city limits, allowing us to still maintain a n...

I wanted to take a break from packing and moving to post a quick, but endless thanks to Faith Massey at "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" for the wonderful service she gave our family the day Kayleigh went to Heaven. Faith was very professional and heartfelt, that having her with us was like having family there when we needed her most. In a time of sadness, you never think to have someone capture your final moments with that special someone. We are so blessed that Faith was there to take photos of those beautiful moments we had with Kayleigh. Please visit Faith's blog ( CLICK HERE ), where she has put together a video of the beautiful photos she took May 11th and how I pray no one would ever need to contact "NILMDTS" because a loss of a loved one, it was by far the most greatest decision we have ever made. This is an organization filled with pure love and we couldn't be more blessed to have them a part of our lives. Thank you Faith!

That is all I can really say about the memorial. It was just beautiful! We had over 200 people come to celebrate Kayleigh's life with us. We had support from as far as California and we couldn't be more thankful to all the people who were there. It was a such a blessing. To recap the memorial so many of you who were not able to make it will get a chance to see what went on. The memorial started off with Brian Carpenter ( Aubrey Carpenter's husband ) sharing our relationship and opening up in prayer. I had asked Brian to do the sermon since we have built a great new friendship and he is a pastor who knows the ins and outs of our family. Him and Aubrey came and visited us from Illinois not too long ago to come see us and Kayleigh. Wade Joye then sang one of his new songs from Elevation Church that will be released on their upcoming CD. Wade and Ferris Joye had their twin girls in the NICU with us and Liana shared a room with Kayleigh for a few months. They have been such a...

As we finished up preparations for the memorial, we wanted to make everyone aware of a couple things. First off, please take photos of you all releasing the pink balloons with Kayleigh's note(see previous post) attached on Sunday at 4:00pm (EST). I would like to do a new post next week and show all the photos. Also, a good friend, Niecey, did one incredible job of creating a video for us for the memorial. It has a lot of new photos, including the professional photos from "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" and 3 songs that just seemed to be perfect for Kayleigh. Of course, you know one of them ;) I really can't wait to show you the video. Tomorrow is the big day and my goodness has this week has flown by. Even though everything we prepared is ready, we are not. We barely got a chance at all this week to just lay there, cry our eyes out and miss her. All next week, we will be packing and heading off to the new house. By the way, the bank didn't want to return phone calls ...

With Kayleigh's memorial coming up, preparations are being made and things are starting to come together. Many of you asked if there were something you could do to help and we came up with an idea. On Sunday (May 17th), at 4:00PM(EST) after the memorial, we will be letting off pink balloons in Kayleigh's name. Tied to each balloon will be a card that reads: Kayleigh Anne Freeman Our One Pound Miracle from God (6/23/08 - 5/11/09) www.KayleighAnneFreeman.blogspot.com God has used Kayleigh in many ways and just because she is in Heaven with our Lord, that doesn't mean our work is done. Let's continue to spread faith, hope and love to those who need to receive it. God will lead those balloons to the right hands. Also, many of you asked if there is an address to send flowers and what we are doing in lieu of flowers, are donations to Levine Children's Hospital NICU at Carolina's Medical Center - 1000 Blythe Blvd. Charlotte, NC 28203. In the remarks, we are all puttin...

The memorial celebration for Kayleigh's life will be held: Sunday, May 17th @ 1:00pm located at: McEwen Funeral Service Pineville Chapel 10500 Park Road Charlotte, NC 28210 (704)544-1412 Everyone who can attend is more than invited. We would love to share in this celebration of life with all of you who supported us through this journey. Many of you asked for our address and up until May 23rd (when we move), we will still be at our home located at: 12619 Frank Wiley Lane Charlotte, NC 28278 Please don't forget to tune in tomorrow to see our story on "The Doctors." They already put up a sweet message about Kayleigh today on their website. You can check it out here: Kayleigh Also, if you missed the preview to the show, CLICK HERE Thank you all very much for your kind words of encouragement. This is so tough, but we remain strong because of our faith and because of your love for us. God Bless you all!

Time is going so slow as if people are flying by us, but our world is standing still. The pain in our hearts burn and the tears flow freely like a never ending waterfall. Our eyes try to close as our bodies are fatigued, but our minds are racing with the thoughts of the memories we shared with Kayleigh through these past 11 months. Our souls are screaming with pain as this story was supposed to have a different, dream come true ending. We hold each other close, squeezing tightly, praying this sense of emptiness will fade away. We never thought we'd finally leave the hospital one last time with an empty car seat and an empty crib to bring our precious daughter home in. The house is cold, it is dark and it is lonely. Our arms that once held this precious miracle will never hold her again anytime soon. We will lay our heads to rest tonight, we will soon wake, but we won't be returning to the hospital. We said our last goodbye only to say hello again one day in the distant future. ...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY I hope that everyone has a special day today and just know that EVERY Mom is a miracle from God and should be lifted up for their ever lasting love. We are all so blessed to have awesome Moms in our lives. We love you ALL! God Bless,

Well, today didn't go as planned. We were hoping for another glorious visit with tons of photos and a lot of great moments, but unfortunately, Kayleigh was not feeling too great. We are not sure if Kayleigh is not feeling well because of the weaning of her Flolan or if this is neurological problems. Last night's head measurement showed Kayleigh's head has swelled even more than the previous three nights (which showed no more swelling). She has been bearing down and turning red, with the occasional fast, heavy breathing that drops her sats a little. Our fear is that Kayleigh may be experiencing some irritability and that is the last thing we want her to deal with, but if this is just caused by the weaning of her Flolan medication, then we should see some signs of improvement very soon as the doctors are currently taking action with the speed of the weaning process. If this is neurological and may cause Kayleigh to be irritable or uncomfortable, we would have no choice but to...

This is one of our favorite dresses that Kayleigh's has. She looks so precious and they have these pink shorts (or should I say undies) that go with it too. As of right now, they have decreased the Flolan for her hypertension over the past two days. They are dropping it 10% each time, and they suspect it will take at least 10 days for her to completely come off of it. Our estimated time for coming home is no less than three weeks, which we were not happy to hear and there unfortunately are no ways to make that happen sooner. Since our main goal is to bring Kayleigh home, we decided that increasing her feeds right now will only increase the risk of her belly blowing up more than it has and keeping her in the hospital longer. We've all decided to increase the triple mix IV fluid to give her the nutrients she needs, so she can stay healthy. Kayleigh's breathing and irritation seems to be increasing a little more today than normal and I am not sure if that is due to the weaning...

Isn't that just amazing? Kayleigh is now weighing just over 11 pounds. Can you believe that??? It is wild to think that she is 11 times her birth weight. I know there are a lot of questions coming in and with all the posts that have been submitted in the past 10+ months, I am sure it will be hard to go back and get an clear understanding of everything that is going on. The summary above on the title helps clear her journey up, but I would like to break it down a little more. So, for those who are just joining us or those who have gotten dizzy on our ravaging roller coaster and and need a quick refresher on what is going on with Kayleigh, here we go: Kayleigh was born 6/23/08 weighing 1 pound - 1 ounce (470 grams to be exact). She was 10.5 inches long. If you get a ruler and try to get an understanding of how small this miracle was, you will literally crap your pants be amazed!! Just to sum up Kayleigh's 10 month roller coaster ride quickly for you: Surgeries: ROP Stage 3 - Eye...

Aimee and I almost forgot what it felt like to have a smile on our faces until Allyson and Brandon were able to spend some time with Kayleigh today after waiting for so long. August was the last time they saw her due to RSV season(horrible lung disease) prevented children in the NICU. The hospital allowed Kayleigh to be moved to a sleep-in room where we could lounge around with her on a bed and allow the kids to hold her and love on her. It was a magical moment and it felt so good to be a family again. It is very sad to say, but this was only our second chance to have a family photo taken together. I hope you enjoy seeing them as much as we enjoyed living them. God Bless,